Worst Analogies in the World

I saw this on Reddit and had to post it. Pretty funny. These are probably the worst analogies you’ll find.

• The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t
• McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a hefty bag filled with vegetable soup
• Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze
• Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center
• He was as tall as a six-foot three-inch tree
• Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 PM, traveling at 55 MPH, and the other from Topeka at 4:19 PM at a speed of 35 MPH
• The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the “Dr” on a Dr. Pepper can.
• John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met